Stuff That Comes With Having A Disability

Because "disability never just is".

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Body Positivity

It is important to emphasize body positivity. We live in a culture where we are constantly bombarded with fake, Photoshopped body images as the ones "truly" desirable and pressured to achieve unattainable beauty standards. I wish more people didn't have to grow up in an environment where they were always reminded how ugly they are or how less attractive they are, and how much more effort they need to put in to alter what they have, just to fit in with the narrow external ideals. I wish people (women in particular) didn't need to have their self-esteem built around every small step they take towards what seemed to be closer to those standards, instead of celebrating what they already have. I wish the mainstream media messages we are surrounded with were more open and inclusive of diversity instead of sticking with only white, cisgendered, able-bodied men and white, cisgendered, thin, able-bodied women as the 'norm'.  And when I say inclusive, I mean positive representations. Not stereotyped or bullying stuff, because there's absolutely no shortage of that.  

The following is a video from ThosePeskyDames on body positivity.

(I've written a transcript, because I realize accessibility is much more than just ramps. And this was possible because it was of short length so that I was able to download it. I apologize for not doing the same for other videos I've shared, its only possible when my slow net lets me.)

TRANSCRIPT:

Two things I wish I'd known as a teenager, and that are often still hard to remember today:

1) People are going to have all sorts of opinions about how you look, there is nothing you can do to control this, so it's pointless trying to.

2) The only person whose opinion matters about how you look is your own. Don't rely on other people to give you worth, they won't always be there.

Whatever you look like, there's always going to be people who think you're unattractive and misguidedly, think its their business to tell you so. Ignore them. Because there are others who think you're the most beautiful person in the world. And not even in spite of your so-called flaws and imperfections, often because of those things you think are so hideous and awful about you. This is something I was struck with, particularly while filming for the TV show that we're going to be in on Wednesday. We had talked to people about hair and the whole group of people we talked to, I'm not even exaggerating, physically recoiled when we showed them our armpits and leg hair. As far as they were concerned, any woman with body hair was disgusting. It didn't matter what she looked like, if she had body hair that was it, that was the deal breaker. And honestly, that's fine. Don't like women with body hair? Fine, don't date them. There's plenty of other people out there who either don't care, or for whom its a massive turn-on! This is a lie that we've been tricked into believing for our entire lives that beauty is some objective standard that we have to aspire to, when its entirely relative. We're told if you have body hair, no one would want you. Or if you're fat. Or if you're too skinny. Or if you have spots, or scars or stretch marks. Or if you're skin's too light, or too dark... the list is just endless! (My colleague I've always talked about my weight too, and there's a link in the description to my dieting week video which says a lot similar to what Holly said in her body positive video yesterday).

But body positivity is so much more than weight. When I was in secondary school, I got teased for a lot of things. I was a chubby, gingerish kid with braces, and I was a nerd. But one of the things that hold of me was I was teased quite a lot for my nose. Its not particularly huge but its not exactly dancy either, and that made me hate it. And I knew if I ever go for plastic surgery it wouldn't be to lose weight or anything like that, it would be to fix my nose because there was nothing else I could do about that. And then when I met my current partner, one of the first compliments he gave me completely out of the blue was that he really loved my nose. He thought it made me look distinguished. So I promise you, that part of yourself that you hate, that you think no one could ever find attractive, there is someone out there who thinks that's what makes you so incredibly gorgeous. And anyone who tries to convince you otherwise just isn't worth your time. You want to tell me that you think I'm fat, that I'm spotty, that I'm hairy, that I'm disgusting? Fine. I don't particularly want to sleep with you either. You kind of seem like a douche.

That said, you can't rely on other people to make you feel beautiful. They're too effectless. Yes, there's someone out there who thinks your fat rolls, and your stretch marks, and your hairy armpit and your giant nose are gorgeous. But there are seven billion people in the world and only a tiny percentage of those people are going to pass in and out of your life. The only person who's going to be there with you for the rest of your life, is you. And if you hate you, it doesn't matter if someone else thinks you're gorgeous. Because in all likelihood, one day they're not going to be there to tell you so. And you're going to be left with yourself and what you think of yourself, and you're going to be miserable. And that doesn't mean that you shouldn't feel that you can change your body. If you want to be thinner, go for it. If you want to gain weight, go for it. If you want grow your hair, shave your hair, wear make-up, don't wear make-up, whatever. But you need to question why you want to make these changes. And they need to come from a place of acceptance and not from a place of desperation of trying to conform to external ideals that you feel you have to fit in with. Acceptance and change takes time. But that's ok, because the way you look at the moment and the way you look between A and B is fine because there's nothing inherently wrong with the way you look. And accept that there are things about your body which you can't ever change. Or that it may be dangerous or difficult for you to change. And whether in the long run its really worth those risks just to make yourself look different. And it's hard. It's so fucking hard to be surrounded by a sea of messages that tell you the way you look is wrong, to not be represented as beautiful or represented at all, and to be continually reminded that you're not the supposed ideal. Which is where the second effects of this comes in and it relates to what Holly was saying in her video. Because just like you can’t rely on someone else to tell you you’re beautiful, we can’t keep dragging other girls down to try to make ourselves feel better. We need to stop making comparisons, saying “At least I don’t look like her.” Or buy into this ‘real women have curves’ bullshit like what skinny girls are just imaginary fairies.

We need to do everything we can to make it easy for each other, not harder. And more than that, we need to challenge the industry that makes us feel this way. We need to ask why so much of our media features exclusively white, exclusively skinny, exclusively able-bodied girls. We need to demand that we see ourselves and other women represented. And tell them that we are fucking fabulous exactly the way we are regardless of what they think.

I won’t feel this way on Wednesday. I know how loudly the demons in my head will be screaming “I look too fat” “I look too pale” “I look ugly compared to the other dames”.. But I’m going to keep fighting those demons, because I have to. Because we all have to. And the hopefully one day, we won’t have to anymore.

 

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An Open Letter to Ms Magazine Blog

"I’m pretty angry about that. Not offended, Ms Magazine, angry. You see, I’m really tired of “the disabled” being treated like we’re unthinking masses. I’m especially tired of the feminist movement – you know, one that allegedly wants equal rights for all people, including women with disabilities – doing this. It makes me angry because I’m a feminist as well as a woman as well as a person with a disability as well as someone who is not the pawn of anyone, thank you very much."

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Matrimonial Ad..

Each and every noun and adjective of this matrimonial ad that appeared in the main edition of India’s leading newspaper ‘The Hindu’, recognizes our divided society and the difficulty in connecting the divisions.

1) It is the father who has applied for the daughter to get married, not the girl herself. The ad targets the boy’s parents and not the boy himself. Parents re-enforce the ancient habit of elders deciding whom the children should spend the rest of their lives with.

2) The girl is only 22 years old. At such a young age and fresh out of college, she would have no idea of the real world. A practice of traditionally conservative families, to get the girl married, as soon as she finishes her basic college education.

3) The Ad describes her as ‘family oriented’, which usually means she is an house-wife material and is ready to sacrifice all her career dreams, to take care of her husband and his family.

4) The girl is fair (colorism? Check. because we never see 'dark' being mentioned. Writing 'fair' is not to show the girl is fair but to indicate she is not dark.), pretty and the boy should be handsome (no criteria for 'handsome' here but since its a boy, anything will do). This rules out a huge majority of the Indian male community, even if their wealth can match this aristocrat and even if they can be better husbands, in terms of care and affection.

5) Even if the boy happens to be extra brilliant, handsome, well-cultured, highly qualified and belongs to respected and reputed family of high stature, his horoscope (a.k.a mumbo jumbo superstition) should match the astrological requirement.

(source for pic and part of the text: 'Indian Quotes' page on Facebook)

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Relating to Roosevelt's Sister

My recent change of self-perception and awakening to the disability rights movement has set me on a learning spree. All of a sudden I'm discovering some of the best blogs on disability, activists, writers and scholars (not only online but also few I am finding myself reaching out to) dealing with disability issues, and a new interest (not just interest, facination as well) in the field of disability studies. I want to do M.A. in it, preferably from TISS because they are one of the few universities in India that offer the course, they seem to be more accommodating of PWDs and it's worth. I'm actually relieved that the passion to do something for others like me is building up more than the fear of likely resistance I will have to deal with when presenting the wish to my parents. In a rather obvious yet strange way, I'm discovering myself. And seeing everything about me or what I've been through, finally, from a different angle - my side. The side of silenced voices, the 'special' children, the intitutionalised 'threats', the receivers of 'be exceptional or be dead' attitudes...and those challenging the status quo.

So when I read Rosmarie Garland Thomson's essay "Roosevelt's Sister: Why We Need Disability Studies in the Humanities", it was something that I could relate to in many places. Taking Judith Shakespeare from Virginia Woolf's famous book A Room of One's Own, she creates a similiar character, Judith Roosevelt, who has cerebral palsy and is the sister of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. In a clear and realistic way, her life is narrated both in the traditional setting and contemporary period.

Virginia Woolf is probably our greatest modernist writer and our most creative feminist thinker. In Woolf's 1928 collection of feminist essays, A Room of One's Own she, invents a character she calls Judith Shakespeare, the imaginary sister of the famous playwright, who is equally creative and ambitious as her brother. In her amusing, but instructive essay, Woolf uses the figure of Judith Shakespeare to show the social constrictions women who wanted to write faced. Woolf invents Judith, who as Woolf has it, must stay home to care for the family while her ambitious brother Will goes off to school and then to London to try his hand at theater, and the rest is history for him. Dutifully, Judith obeys until her father plans to marry her to an odious neighbor. When she refuses, he beats her, and she runs away to the London stage door to offer her talents, where they are rejected. She becomes pregnant by a charming fellow actor she meets that first day. Disgraced, Judith dies alone in childbirth and is buried in an unmarked grave.

I'll offer here another figure to think through the social constrictions facing disabled women. Following Woolf, my heroine will be Judith as well. But this is not Judith Shakespeare; rather this is Judith... Roosevelt, the younger sister of Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

continue reading here..

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Beauty And Women With Disabilities

This noteworthy paper written by Francine Odette gives a good insight into cultural standards/expectations on beauty and the position of women with disabilities in it. Excerpt:  

Body Beautiful/Body Perfect: Challenging the Status Quo:

Where Do Women With Disabilities Fit In?

 

Francine Odette, M.S.W., DisAbled Women’s Network

“

With a body that doesn’t ‘measure up’, we learn pretty quickly what our culture wants from women” – The New Our Bodies Ourselves

When I was approached to write about the issue of body image and its impact on women with disabilities, the invitation brought with it a chance to explore the link between fat-oppression and the experiences of women with disabilities. Unfortunately, little research has been conducted on this issue, which may reflect the belief that the lived experiences of many women with disabilities are not important, nor perceived as valid by mainstream researchers.

I do not represent the experiences of all women with disabilities regarding the issues of body image and self-perception; however, over the years I have listened to the stories of many women with a range of disabilities. This includes women whose disabilities include being non-verbal, mobility, hard of hearing and/or visual impairments. Many of these women spoke of their lives and how they have begun to deal with some of their concerns around body image and selfperception. While recognizing that the issues for women with disabilities may vary from those of non-disabled women, our lives, experiences and fears are very similar.

Cultural standards of beauty

Women are identified socially with their bodies. For women living in Western culture, thinness is often equated with health and success. We are taught early to be conscious of our body shape, size, weight and physical attributes. The current cultural “norm” or ideal is unattainable for most women. Fat women, women with disabilities, women from particular racial or ethnic groups or with non-heterosexual orientation, and other women who do not conform to the prescribed “norm” of social desirability are viewed as having experiences and attributes somewhat different from that of other women in this culture and as a result are often isolated.

Women with disabilities living in this society are not exempt from the influence of messages that attempt to dictate what is desirable and what is undesirable in a woman. These messages are often internalized, and they have an impact on how we see ourselves. The further we view ourselves from the popular standard of beauty, the more likely our self-image will suffer. We may experience a greater need to gain control over our bodies, either by our own efforts of restrictive eating and exercising, or the intrusive procedures performed by those deemed to be the “experts”—the medical profession.

We form images of ourselves early in infancy and these are confirmed or altered by the responses, or evaluations, made by others.

Based on physical judgments, women with disabilities hear various messages from family, friends and society-at-large about our perceived inability to participate in the roles that are usually expected of women. Society believes that lack of physical attractiveness, as defined by the dominant culture, hampers our ability to be intimate. These misperceptions hamper our ability to get beyond our physical differences, perpetuate body-image dissatisfaction and contribute to eating problems.

Invisible or distorted lives

Within this culture, having a disability is viewed negatively. This notion is supported by the fact that the lives of women with different disabilities are not reflected in the media. We are invisible. However, when our lives are spoken of, they are distorted through romantic or bizarre portrayals of childlike dependency, monster-like anger and super-human feats. This increases the discomfort of others when in contact with women with disabilities, which in turn perpetuates the sense of “otherness” that women may feel.

As women and individuals with disabilities, the messages that we receive often indicate the lack of role expectations for us. For young girls with disabilities, the invisibility of our lives becomes reinforced by the fact that much of popular advertising implies the belief that the “normal” body is that which is desirable. Once these messages become internalized and reinforced, young girls and women with disabilities may try to compensate for their disabilities by striving to look as close to the non-disabled “norm” as possible. Similar to many non-disabled women’s experiences, some girls and women with different disabilities may try to hide their bodies or change how their bodies look. Comfort and health may be sacrificed as we attempt to move

closer to the realm of what the “normal” body appears to be, by manipulating our bodies through continuous dieting, plucking, shaving, cutting and constricting.

Much feminist theory has been focused on identifying the reality that within Western culture women’s bodies are objectified for the purpose of male pleasure and domination. As a result, women’s perceptions of themselves and their bodies become distorted. We are taught to mistrust our own experience and judgment about desirability and acceptance. These qualities are defined by the dominant culture. They are socially and economically defined by those in power—white, able-bodied, heterosexual men. Within this context, the body becomes a commodity with which one may bargain in order to obtain more desirable opportunities, e.g., work or security.

Objectification by the medical profession

Feminist analysis identifies women’s alienation from themselves and their bodies as a result of the objectification of the female body. However, a great deal of feminist analysis may not be reflective of all women’s experience. The way in which women’s bodies are portrayed, as commodities in the media, may not be a reality for many women labelled “disabled.” In reflecting societal beliefs regarding disability, our bodies become objectified for the purposes of domination, but within a different context.

 

Traditionally, disability, whether visible or invisible, has tended to be viewed as something that is undesirable. Whether we are born with our disability or acquire it later, our bodies become objectified by the medical process. Medical examinations are often undertaken by groups of male doctors, who despite their aura of “professionalism,” are still perceived by the client as a group of anonymous men. Regular routines such as dressing ourselves, or other activities, are observed by doctors while on their “rounds,” as this is seen as an excellent training of new doctors.

Many of us recount our experiences, as young children, of having to display our bodies to groups of male doctors in the guise of “medical treatment” without prior knowledge or consent. We may have been asked to strip, to walk back and forth in front of complete strangers so that they could get a better view of what the physical “problem” is, or to manually manipulate our limbs to determine flexibility and dexterity.

Today, pictures or videos are taken of us and used as educational tools for future doctors, with little thought given to our needs to have control over what happens to our bodies or who sees us. While the medical profession attempts to maintain control over our bodies, some women with disabilities may attempt to regain control through dieting, bingeing or other methods of body mutilation.

Body image and ‘different’ bodies

Some disabled women speak of having numerous surgeries conducted with the hope of a “cure,” when in reality the surgeries may result in increased pain, discomfort and altered physical state of one’s body. The concept of body-image as it impacts on young girls and women with disabilities is crucial, especially when one looks at instances where the functioning of certain body parts must change or be altered, resulting in scars, diminished sensation or radically changing the physical state, e.g., amputation, mastectomies. A common theme emerges between intrusive medical intervention and popular methods of cosmetic surgery: the perceived need to change or alter the “imperfect” body. For many women with disabilities, the message is clear—the way our bodies are now is neither acceptable nor desirable. To be non-disabled is the “ideal”

and along with that comes the additional expectations for the quest for the “perfect” body. Body image, self-image and self-esteem are often linked with the perceptions held by society, family and friends. Disability is often seen as a “deficit,” and women with disabilities must address the reality that the “ideal” imposed by the dominant culture regarding women’s bodies is neither part of our experience nor within our reach. We thus often need to grieve the loss of the dream of the “body perfect,” let alone the “body ideal.” As women with disabilities, some of us experience difficulty in having others identify us as “female.”

Disability and “differentness” results in many of us living our lives from the margins of society. As women with disabilities, we must begin to challenge the perceptions of “body beautiful,” along with the perceptions held by some non-disabled feminists who resist the notion of “body beautiful,” but ignore or affirm the notion of “body perfect.” Disability challenges all notions of perfection and beauty as defined by popular, dominant culture.

We must reclaim what has been traditionally viewed as “negative” and accentuate the reality that “differentness” carries with it exciting and creative opportunities for change. A lot can be learned from the experiences of women with disabilities as we begin the process of reclaiming and embracing our “differences.” This includes both a celebration of our range of sizes, shapes and abilities.

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On 'Natural', 'Necessary' And Change

One of the worst power oppression has is that the longer it prevails, the more it tends to get normalized. The more it's various forms and consequences appear like "that's just how things are". And the more 'normal' it becomes, the stronger a backlash it raises to anyone who questions or tries to change the situation. Because after all, you are working against what is considered an 'inevitable reality'.
Where and how did it start from, how universal is it, what would an alternative be like, all get conveniently hidden behind the facade of convincing naturalness.

From this point, oppression thrives by not just seeming natural, but in many cases necessary too. When someone brings to attention that women are overwhelmingly responsible for household duties or that they routinely face discrimination at the workplace, the immediate response is hardly to acknowledge the injustice itself but to defend it's being by saying, "oh well men face discrimination too, like the burden of providing for the family, so what's the big deal. Isn't that how a society keeps moving?" Sure. A society will definiltely go on even if it is at the expense of locking up half of it's inhabitants behind invisible (sometimes visible) bars. Slavery in America, for example, didn't put the American society itself into stagnation, it still had it's share of economic and political development. What it prevented was the progress of people of color and their rights to basic needs like freedom and safe living. What it held back (and still does although not in ways as brutal as slavery) was the advancement of a section of the society, whose deprivation not only harmed them but also denied many positive improvements for the society as a whole.

The question here is not whether a society would progress with/without gender oppression. The question here is how you define progress and what kind of a society would want to progress with it. If we think of progress merely in terms of industrial boom, acquiring latest weapons of war or increased national income, it doesn't speak much about the conditions of it's citizens, especially those marginalised. If women are treated like second class citizens, usable and disposble property for men, denied of equal rights and opportunities, aborted for being female, married off without consent before reaching adulthood, portrayed primarily as sexual objects in the media for male gaze, made to hate and give up control over their own bodies and sexuality by patriarchal religions, routinely harassed, stereotyped, underestimated and considered incapable of competition or achievement, what progress are we talking about? And how much progress can a nation achieve even if only in terms of economic development if we don't fully utilize half of it's human resource? The positive correlation between the the improved status of women in a country and it's higher level of development is one that cannot be ignored. And perhaps a question worth wondering what happens when India remains so bad for women.

(I clicked this pic from my sociology textbook, sorry if it's not

clear. The chains that tie her: economic insecurity, dowry,

traditional expectations/attitudes, early marriage, wage

discrimination, household chores, gender role stereotyping,

food discrimination, amniosentesis, and illiteracy).

Speaking about oppression being just a 'natural' aspect of social reality as the society 'moves on', a society that uses this as a driving force isn't a good one to begin with. There is something wrong at it's very core that requires change. If men have to bear the burden of being the sole bread-winner or play the major role in meeting the family's financial needs, it is because women have been denied from sharing that responsibility equally. It could be because they have been denied education, the opportunity and freedom to pursue a career or to simply put it, be 'equal' partners with their husbands. This is the product of "patriarchy, the social system characterised by male-centredness, male-dominance, male-identification and an obsession with control" (Allan G. Johnson). It is not an individual person, it is not a 'they' or 'us'. It is system of society we live and participate in, one that places men above women, one in which men are the default and women are the 'other' (we don't say "men's" football match, we automatically assume its a men's match when we talk about one whereas for women's we do, terms like "mankind" when used to refer to 'human beings' etc). It is a system that gives utmost importance to power and dominance and identifies these with maleness whereas femaleness and its associated attributes are devalued ("stop crying like a girl", "man up", etc). Patriarchy survives through the use of control, through rigid heterosexual-identification and punishing deviations from it's narrow norms or anyone who even vaguely points to it's existence. This is carried out by simply denying that it exists or at the worst by treating the pointer as 'crazy' or extremist. 

Patriarchy is not men, although it largely depends on men to keep itself going. Since it is male-identified and male-centered, anybody questioning it is in essence questioning male privilege. This is why most men see feminists as "man-haters", you know rather than "male-glorifying-female-devaluing-system-haters"? (rarely does it occur to them about how many men are feminists too). Because no matter how lightly we approach the issue of patriarchy, at some point it is bound to hit home, it is bound to evoke the realzation of how closely tied it is with men. And since most people's understanding of gender is as something biological rather than cultural, any attack on patriarchal attributes like aggression, control, emotional dissociation, toughness, being in power, etc is seen as an attack on every men personally. This misunderstanding puts a lot of women on the defensive side against feminism too, because who would want to live in constant rebellion with the very people you have to spend your entire life with/amongst? Nobody has to, but sadly, hardly anyone realizes that.

No system simply is. It is moulded, shaped and transformed by how we participate in it, whether consciously or not. It is reflected in every bit of our culture, be it language, television, newspapers, religion, education, family, art etc. Everyone's participation is mandatory, the only thing we can choose is how to do so. Privilige is not something to be ashamed of because you didn't get it by choice, it is something to be aware of. I have come to understand my 'white privilige' so when get someone telling me about my 'fairness' or come talking about "fairness creams", I now make it a point to tell them how beauty isn't about only 'one' color and that dark skin is in no way ugly. I may get "you're weird" looks/reactions, but still it sets a spark and besides, such reactions won't come from someone who values 'people' beyond their appearance. When you laugh at rape jokes, you promote the idea that rape is a laughable thing, that rape doesn't really matter. When you tell women to not "ask for it" by dressing 'modestly', you promote the acceptance of the idea of male-domination and female-submission. When you segregate toys for girls as dolls and doll-houses and those for boys as puzzles and cognitive skill building games, you prevent girl children from developing interests in math or science which in turn makes them internalize a belief that they cannot be as good as boys in these subjects, and thereby upholding the popular misconception. All of this and many more like these contribute in giving patriarchy a longer lifespan and keeping a better society at a more farther reach. 

Progress of a nation should be marked by the integration and improvement of all communities in it. Change begins at the individual level but without understanding larger systems and working towards transforming them as well, there will be little scope for social progress.

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Straight, But Not Narrow

We have a choice between being ignorant or being aware, being bigoted or being humanitarian, being disapproving or being tolerant, being ostracizing or being inclusive.

Between continuing our long history of oppression or moulding a new one without suppression.

We have a choice between choosing the former or the latter..


My disability may make my world smaller compared to that of the non-disabled (mainly because an ableist society limits it so), but I find it a lot more beautifully diverse and richer than many people do, when it comes to humanity. I wish it were the same for everyone.. And I'll always be an ally to help make that happen.

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SkepFem Quickpicks 7.0

[ Content note: rape culture, sexual violence ]

- I found it very difficult to hold on to (and easy to leave) my religious beliefs after I read about the notion of the 'soul' being an imaginary construct. Although I accepted the horrible history of Christianity and didn't want to have any more associations with what it is still doing, the idea of dualism or an afterlife still lingered in a somewhat religious way. This post on Adam Lee's 'Ebon Musings' was an excellent learning. It's one of the first atheist sites I visted, I love his work here as well as on Daylight Atheism.

- The pathology of 'free' India where half of it's citizens are yet to get the freedom - Guwahati incident.

- Have a religious organization working to convert the cripple? You might not want to miss these tips.

- Daniel Tosh made some rape jokes at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood. And got a lesson from Jezebel on how to make rape jokes.

- A little history on the engagement and wedding rings. (warning for newly engaged/married couples: ignore if you don't want to break from that happy mood)

- How do we define a family? A look at American survey results on what groups or living arrangements are perceived as 'family'.
My view I think is just this, ''any two or more people living together and identify themselves as a family''. I wouldn't count marriage, specific sexual orientation or blood-relation as a necessary eligibility requirement. 

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'If they can, you can.'

Often articles and news reports present disabled people doing something (mostly something everyone does) as a source for 'inspiration' and 'definitely you can do it' sentiments. That's inspiration porn. Disabled people are not your ego boosters. Some disabled people can do things other disabled people can't, some disabled people can do things abled people can't, some abled people can do things other abled people can't, some abled people can do things disabled people can't. That's it. Abilities vary, choices vary, support systems vary. To tell someone they can do it because a PWD did it, implies 4 things:

1. Seeing disabled people as inferior. 'Look, if that disabled person can do it, of course you can do it too.'
2. Trivialising the person's problem by saying it's something they can overcome, they just have to try harder.
3. Ignoring the wide range of abilities within the spectrum of human variation. Not everyone can do everything equally.
4. Excluding external factors. Nobody lives in a vacuum. What we do/get is largely influenced by the kind of people we live with and the attitudes held by the society. In an ableist society (one that keeps a closed eye towards the needs of the disabled, like accessibility, inclusion, etc), there is only so much a PWD can achieve with his/her efforts without a conducive environment.

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Feminism - Why We Still Need It..

Identifying yourself as a feminist today can lead to many people immediately assuming you are a man-hating, bra-burning, whiny liberal or 'god forbid', a lesbian. Maybe a certain radio talk show host will give you the honor of being labelled as a "Feminazi" or "slut." Even among more moderate crowds, feminism is still seen as too radical, too uncomfortable, or simply unnecessary. Feminism is both misunderstood and denigrated regularly in pop media which makes people, especially women themselves, want to stay clear from any associations with the label, not having an understanding of what it actually is.

A group of students from Duke University had started an online campaign asking men and women why they need feminism as an effort to fight back against these popular misconceptions surrounding the feminist movement. There is an overwhelmingly widespread belief among students that today’s society no longer needs feminism. Therefore, it is important to challenge existing stereotypes surrounding feminists and assert the importance of feminism today.

These are some of the photos from around the web that I liked. There are tonns more you can check out on Tumblr, 'Who Needs Feminism' page on Facebook, etc.

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SkepFem Quickpicks 6.0

I follow quite a few blogs and websites, each of them unique in their content and presentation. It was actually reading all these blogs that got me the inspiration to start one of my own, even if it had no particular focus and was for just writing down anything I wanted. :P
These are a couple of links I found interesting in the past week. Hope you enjoy.


[Content Note: rape culture; sexual violence]


Fashion advive for non-normative bodies almost always comes with the same mandate : hide what you have. Fat folks and the disabled are usual targets for this. - S. E. Smith writes  

I try my best to feel proud of my country even though I happen to be born here by nothing but chance. But then I hear this: India ranked worst G20 country for women - FeministsIndia

Skepchick gives an excellent response to the European Commission on Research and Innovation's highly disappointing teaser for the campaign to promote science among girls. The intention might be well meaning but ''pinkifying'' science does more harm than good.

Lara Croft's origin story in the new Tomb Raider game and the ''Rape Turns Ladies Into Superheroes'' trope - Shakesville

Accessibility is Not an individual problem, neither is it a favour the non-disabled do.

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