Tuesday, 7 August 2012

Before You Ask Someone A Question, Ask Yourself:

  • Is this something I need to know?
  • Is this information any of my business?
  • Is this information something I can get elsewhere, like Google or Wikipedia, so as not to waste the questioned’s time?
  • Might my question trigger or seriously upset the questioned?
  • Why do I feel entitled to this information, and why might that entitlement be wrongly assumed?
  • Am I being respectful, appropriate, and inclusive in my phraseology?
  • Do I acknowledge that I am not entitled to an answer, and am I willing to accept silence or a denial of information as an answer?
  • - via bittergrapes

    It's not that they're too rude or arrogant if you don't get a reply. Maybe, just mabe, they've answered it a million times before and are tired of it. Maybe the information is something widely available on the internet and still people (more annoying when those on the internet itself) ask the same thing like they're the first person to bring out such a 'clever', 'new' question. Maybe they have the right answer and know what they want to say but just can't put it into words that will convince you.

    It is especially important to keep these in mind when you're asking to those people who have to regularly deal with the same questioning and yet suceeding very little in pushing understanding through the questioner's biases and prejudices when answered. Feminists, PoC, LGBTQA, PWD.. (don't know the full forms? I ain't gonna say it this time, Google them.). However, most marginalized people are willing to educate others about their condition because they know speaking out and bringing their problems to light is the only way to awaken a sleeping society. It's only that we as outsiders (and more so if as perpetuators) have an equal responsibility to 'put an effort' at 'finding out' on our own if we can, without expecting them to neatly and carefully position everything into our heads.


    1. "How can I learn if you don't educate me?" is also one of the derailing tactics on the Derailing For Dummies list - http://www.derailingfordummies.com/complete.html#educate.

      1. I've just started reading it. That's there right on top of the list. Interesting page, I'm saving it. Thanks. :D